How to Create Confidence 🧠
How to Create Confidence 🧠
Leveraging Self-Love for Creating Confidence (7min Read)
TL;DR Summary
Megan Reed takes over the blog today to discuss confidence building.
Key aspects: self-discovery, self-mastery, self-love.
Confidence involves knowing and being true to oneself.
It's an inner state, not a learned skill.
Self-love is essential for confidence.
Confidence grows from small daily efforts and self-trust.
Welcome Back!
Today you’re about to get a master class in confidence!
Megan Reed, an award-winning coach and best-selling author, is taking over the blog!
I won’t waste much time with any preamble, I’ll just let you know you’re in for a treat.
Alright, onto the blog!
Creating Confidence 101
Do you know how you create confidence?
Focus on self-discovery.
Then, cultivate self-mastery.
While making time for self-love and expression.
When you focus on self-discovery, you’re building your self-awareness muscle so you can identify and know things like your triggers, values, and what lights you up.
Subsequently, you can begin to master things like your time, energy, and mind (the self-mastery piece) and then all of a sudden there’s more room for joy, play, rest, and your creative passions (the self-expression piece).
Which builds self-love, which builds confidence.
And the cycle continues.
The Creating Confidence® Method
What is Confidence?
There’s this misconception that to be a confident person, you must also be extroverted and exude this obnoxious "look at me, I kick ass" energy all the time.
In reality, confidence is an inner knowing that you can fully trust and be yourself.
Confidence is quiet.
Confidence is loud.
Confidence is listening intently.
Confidence is speaking your truth.
Confidence is knowing you don’t need to impress anyone.
Confidence is showing yourself—and others—what you’re made of.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all, here are the step-by-step instructions for cultivating confidence, since it can show up in so many different ways.
What Does Confidence Look Like?
Confidence looks like:
Knowing who you are.
Having the courage to be your true authentic self.
Admitting when you need help.
Believing in yourself and your abilities.
Acknowledging your mistakes.
Healing your past wounds.
Pursuing your truth.
Expressing yourself through creativity.
Celebrating your wins.
Going after what really matters to you.
Setting boundaries and saying no.
Embracing your flaws.
Forgiving yourself and others.
Knowing when to quit.
Chasing your dreams unapologetically.
Each and every human on this Earth has their own version of what confidence looks and feels like. And damn, it’s incredible when you’re feeling it, isn’t it?
In my opinion, confidence is not a skill that you learn.
Confidence is not a skill that you learn; it’s a state of being that you can access at any time.
Implying that confidence is a skill suggests that you’re not innately born with it when in reality, it’s simply a state of mind.
You’ve actually had the ability to leverage confidence since before you were even created.
I mean, think about it.
YOU’RE the winning sperm.
YOU made it inside the egg.
You knew you were gonna, too.
You had absolutely no doubt.
The sperm that made you didn’t have mad skills; it had confidence. Dare I say, it had balls?
Confidence is the way you act, the way you feel, the way you perceive things, and the stories you’re telling yourself.
If you tell yourself, “I’m not confident,” then you won’t be.
You must identify as the kind of person who IS confident.
Who EXUDES confidence from the inside out.
I know what you’re thinking.
“So how come some people are better at it?”
You can be confident right now, simply by choosing to be.
There are certain situations where it may be more difficult to activate that confidence because of external forces, which is totally understandable.
And you could totally argue that “practice makes perfect,” therefore confidence is a skill, but this isn’t free-throw practice for your high school basketball team.
Confidence is the embodiment of a conscious trust in yourself.
The more you access and embody it, the quicker you’ll activate it each and every time until eventually, this confidence is straight-up second nature.
Confident people are confident because they’ve figured out their secret sauce.
They know who they are.
They’re owning their weirdness.
They've learned and are learning how to love themselves.
Loving yourself for who you are is truly one of the biggest pieces of self-confidence.
Confidence Starts with Self-Love
All too often I hear, “I don’t even know where to start when it comes to confidence.”
To which I respond, “Start with self-love.”
Practice loving and honoring yourself and you’ll be building crucial neural pathways that will help you step into your most authentic and confident self without the self-doubt.
That’s the goal, right?
While there’s no single ultimate cake recipe for self-love—because not everyone’s gonna vibe with the chocolate or the red velvet or the funfetti—there are some ingredients I recommend you have on hand so you can discover which ingredients work best in your self-love cake.
Ingredients for Self-Love and Confidence
Here are some simple ingredients you can begin to incorporate into your daily routine to help you cultivate an attitude and a lifestyle of self-love to create confidence—in no particular order:
Go Outside
For the fresh air, grounding, sunshine, and that good ol’ vitamin D.
Neuroscience Note from Cody
Research has shown that these activities:
Balance serotonin levels (a neurotransmitter related to mood)
Reduce stress and anxiety
Improve sleep
Reduce inflammation
Increase immunity
Enhance feelings of happiness and well-being.
Reduce mental fatigue
Improve attention and concentration.
Eat Whole, Nutrient Dense Foods
Support your energy and immune system.
Examples Foods
Rainbow of veggies: Leafy greens (kale, spinach), broccoli, bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, sweet potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, etc.
Berries: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, cherries, etc.
Citrus fruits: Oranges, grapefruits, lemons, limes, etc.
Tropical fruits: Mangoes, pineapples, kiwis, bananas, etc.
Beans and lentils: Black beans, kidney beans, chickpeas, lentils, etc.
Lean meats and poultry: Skinless chicken breast, turkey breast, fish (salmon, tuna, sardines), etc.
Eggs: A great source of complete protein and healthy fats.
Nuts and seeds: Almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, hemp seeds, etc.
Avocados, olive oil, fatty fish, nuts and seeds.
Make Time for Creativity
Whether your cup of tea is art, dancing, gardening, or crocheting… just go play. Rest is productive, too, so recharge your brain and have some fun.
If you’re looking for ideas, I suggest Cody’s blog, “The Surprising Brain Benefits of Adult Play.”
Move Your Body
Whatever your favorite form of movement is, do it. Schedule it in, set reminders, and get an accountability buddy or coach if you have to.
Walking, running, weight-lifting, swimming, cycling, CrossFit, yoga, dancing, it doesn’t matter.
A body in motion stays in motion.
Practice Mindfulness
Check in with your mind and body daily.
Breathe a deep belly breath. Journal. Meditate. Recite positive affirmations.
Whatever brings you back to your awareness and mindfulness in this present moment.
Consume Dark Chocolate
This one is happy science. Eat the cookie. Order the Chipotle. (Get the GUAC.)
Yeah, you should fuel your body with nutritious foods, but you should also eat foods and drink beverages that bring you joy.
It’s a BOTH kind of situation, ya know? This is a recipe for Self-Love CAKE after all.
Set Boundaries
You want more time for yourself? Start by saying no to more things.
When you say yes to things you don’t want to do or that don’t align with your goals, you’re taking time and energy away from things that actually matter.
“No.” Is a complete sentence.
Your no empowers your yes.
Read Personal Development Books
Or any book, really. You can also watch videos or listen to podcasts—however you best like to consume personal development content.
Personal Development Content Ideas:
Main Character Energy by Megan Reed
Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins (Cody’s Fav)
Impact Theory Podcast
The School of Greatness Podcast
The TED YouTube Channel
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Mindset by Carol Dweck
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
How To Start
The good news is you don’t have to mix all these ingredients in at once (or ever).
Your cake can be as simple or as fancy as you want because it’s yours and yours alone.
No one else will be eating your cake—because it’s a metaphor—so there’s no wrong way to flavor it, bake it, or frost it.
Start small, and work on identifying as the type of person who loves themselves enough to try.
A barrier I see a lot is that people don’t even know where to start because for so long they’ve been focused on everyone else and to bring the spotlight back to themselves feels uncomfortable and weird.
That’s why we’re starting small, remember?
We’re not trying to climb Mount Everest in a day.
First, we’ve just got to get off the couch.
Because it’s not the big, monumental moves we make that create confidence and change the way we feel about everything.
No.
It's the small, daily efforts that encourage growth and allow us to scale our mountains with commitment, grace, self-trust, and beautiful, messy progress over time.
When it boils down to it, that’s all that confidence really is, isn’t it?
A deep trust in yourself, an inner knowing that you’ve got your own back, and a sense of peace because you can count on yourself to pull through and do the damn thing.
Confidence is unconditional love and gratitude for the person you are becoming.
Remember: YOU are the winning sperm.
It’s time to act like it.
Megan Reed, PCC
Award-Winning Coach and Best-Selling Author of Main Character Energy
Thank You, Megan!
Mic dropped… I’ve got nothing else to add!
Here’s how to get in touch with Megan:
Email: megan@heymeganreed.com
Social Media: @heymeganreed
Website: heymeganreed.com
And as always, until next time… Live Heroically 🧠
Supporting Research
Laurent, J. G. C., MacNaughton, P., Jones, E., Young, A. S., Bliss, M., Flanigan, S., Vallarino, J., Chen, L. J., Cao, X., & Allen, J. G. (2021). Associations between acute exposures to PM2.5 and carbon dioxide indoors and cognitive function in office workers: a multicountry longitudinal prospective observational study. Environmental Research Letters, 10.1088/1748-9326/ac1bd8.
Friedman, N., Allen, J. G., & Lipsitch, M. (2020, April 13). The Benefits of Fresh Air. Department of Organismic and Evolutionary Biology, Harvard University.
Chevalier, G., Patel, S., Weiss, L., Chopra, D., & Mills, P. J. (2019). The Effects of Grounding (Earthing) on Bodyworkers' Pain and Overall Quality of Life: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Explore (NY), 15(3), 181-190. doi: 10.1016/j.explore.2018.10.001.
Ghaly, M., & Teplitz, D. (2004). The biologic effects of grounding the human body during sleep as measured by cortisol levels and subjective reporting of sleep, pain, and stress. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 10(5), 767-776. doi: 10.1089/acm.2004.10.767.
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