What if they are asking all these questions to "learn you" to "prove" to you that they are this man? How do you know the difference between genuine interest - a man who's "done the work on himself", and one who's practiced being the "right man" until you're hooked? How do we trust/not trust our intuition, when we have had tumultuous relationships as your YouTube references, yet trust the man who could be using the tools against us? I guess how are we to determine the real from the fake?
The further you read into this article, the scarier and more sinister it gets. This pretty much tells us not to trust our guts, and again do the emotional work of figuring the dude out. No one needs to be asking personal questions about your feelings when you first meet them.
As an illustration, check out Season 5 of the podcast Betrayal. The survivor’s “dream man” eventually checked all the boxes, in spite of her early initial hesitations.
These are good questions, but it's unlikely many of them will come up in the first three dates. I think really the first one is the one to look for on early dates. Does he ask follow-up questions? Does he show he wants to know more and ask you to elaborate?
80% written by AI :) in the era of slop espoused as dating advice
“Easy to talk to sometimes means easy to talk at. “- I will never forget this.
Thank you for writing this. Sometimes we don’t have these skills for communication and can learn. Other times it’s just a giant red flag.
What if they are asking all these questions to "learn you" to "prove" to you that they are this man? How do you know the difference between genuine interest - a man who's "done the work on himself", and one who's practiced being the "right man" until you're hooked? How do we trust/not trust our intuition, when we have had tumultuous relationships as your YouTube references, yet trust the man who could be using the tools against us? I guess how are we to determine the real from the fake?
The further you read into this article, the scarier and more sinister it gets. This pretty much tells us not to trust our guts, and again do the emotional work of figuring the dude out. No one needs to be asking personal questions about your feelings when you first meet them.
As an illustration, check out Season 5 of the podcast Betrayal. The survivor’s “dream man” eventually checked all the boxes, in spite of her early initial hesitations.
These are good questions, but it's unlikely many of them will come up in the first three dates. I think really the first one is the one to look for on early dates. Does he ask follow-up questions? Does he show he wants to know more and ask you to elaborate?
Great information as always. I’m delaying jumping back into dating because of other events in my life, but I’m taking notes.