Emotions You Can Feel But Can't Explain After Trauma 🧠
Beyond Words: Exploring the Depths of Unspeakable Emotions (7min Read)
TL;DR Summary:
Words shape and expand our understanding of emotions.
Introducing specific words for hard-to-explain feelings to change how you see the world.
Learning these words triggers brain growth, enhancing self-awareness and emotional control.
Covers common indescribable emotions (e.g., sonder, liberosis) and their impact.
Explores unique emotions from different cultures (e.g., saudade, wabi-sabi) without English equivalents.
Highlights emotions specific to trauma recovery (e.g., sehnsucht, kenopsia) and their healing power.
Aims to increase empathy, emotional intelligence, and a deeper connection with others.
Welcome Back!
Words aren’t just descriptive, they are generative.
Today, I’m going to give you some words that will shift your perspective on the world forever.
That’s because today, we’re talking about some common emotions you can’t feel, but can’t explain.
In other words, you don’t have a word or language for what you’re feeling.
When this happens, you don’t just say, “Ooohhh, I have this feeling but I can’t describe it…”
You just label it as something else or something general until you discover new words or language for it!
These moments where you don’t have the words to describe what you’re feeling happen a ton after abusive or toxic relationships, which is why I’ve come to learn them myself!
We’re going to hit on some common ones today, and some that accompany traumatic experiences.
Let’s dive in!
The Neuroscience of Learning a New Emotional Word
Learning a new word that precisely describes a feeling you're experiencing is like finding a key that unlocks a previously inaccessible room within your mind.
This process engages various parts of your brain and nervous system in a fascinating interplay of cognition, emotion, and language acquisition.
Learning new words is a neuroplasticity trigger, as you learn the words we’ll be covering today, your literal brain cells will be growing, shifting, and changing.
As these new pieces of reality become clearer by learning precise words for these feelings, you’ll experience a cognitive and emotional shift.
The ability to label an emotion accurately can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation.
This is partly because naming an emotion can help "tame" it, making it more manageable and less overwhelming, a concept rooted in Affect Labeling Theory.
This makes you more emotionally intelligent and allows you to express yourself more clearly to others!
This cognitive-emotional development enriches our interactions with others and our internal narrative, contributing to a more nuanced engagement with the world around us!
General Emotions You Can Feel But Can’t Explain
Let’s start with some common emotions that we all have felt at one point or another, but couldn’t accurately explain them.
Sonder
Definition: The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
Let that sink in…
Until just a moment ago, you may have felt a vague curiosity or fleeting empathy toward strangers without fully acknowledging the depth of their individual experiences.
They, just like you, have full lives, families, heartbreak, friends, and millions of personal beliefs, stories, and experiences…
Just. Like. You.
Sonder provides a word to articulate and explore this profound recognition of the multitude of personal narratives surrounding us.
Learning this helped me deepen my empathy and connection to others.
Liberosis
Definition: The longing to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop caring about how you're perceived by others, and to live more freely.
Learning about "liberosis" might bring a sense of relief or validation to those who feel overwhelmed by societal expectations or personal anxieties.
It can encourage a reevaluation of what truly matters, inspiring a journey toward greater authenticity and emotional freedom!
Chrysalism
Definition: The amiable sense of coziness and shelter you feel when you're indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to the rain patter against the roof or windows.
I have to admit, I felt nothing but this when I was a child… I hated thunderstorms, but I do experience this now as I’ve gotten older!
Recognizing the emotion of "chrysalism" can deepen your appreciation for moments of tranquility and protection.
I know it is for me!
It underscores the beauty of finding peace and contentment in simple pleasures, nurturing a sense of gratitude for the refuge offered by our homes and safe spaces.
Vellichor
Definition: The strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time—filled with thousands of old books you'll never have time to read, each holding a universe of potential.
Embracing "vellichor" can awaken a profound connection to history and the collective human experience.
It may inspire contemplation of life's impermanence, the value of stories, and our place within the broader tapestry of time.
Adronitis
Definition: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—wishing instead that you could download all their stories, memories, and experiences in a moment of full understanding.
I feel this one ALLLL the time! I meet so many new people, and I know they are full of all sorts of interesting things that I wanna know.
Understanding "adronitis" has helped me form a greater appreciation for the journey of getting to know someone, and recognize the depth and complexity of human beings.
It can also encourage patience and empathy in your interactions, valuing the gradual unfolding of another's personality and history!
Words for Emotions & Experiences From Other Cultures
Many cultures around the world have unique words that describe specific emotions or experiences for which there are no direct translations in English.
These words often reflect the values, climate, and social nuances of their cultures.
Learning these words can offer a fascinating glimpse into how differently humans can experience and interpret the world around them.
Here are some examples:
Saudade (Portuguese): A profound, melancholic longing for something or someone that is absent, combined with the knowledge that the object of longing might never return. It's a blend of sadness and love, nostalgia for what has been lost, and hope for its return.
Wabi-sabi (Japanese): An appreciation of the beauty in imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. It is about embracing life's flaws and accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay.
Gigil (Filipino): The overwhelming urge to squeeze or pinch something that is irresistibly cute. This could apply to a baby's cheeks or a loved one. It's a physical reaction to an overwhelming emotion.
Iktsuarpok (Inuit): The feeling of anticipation while waiting for someone to arrive, leading you to keep going outside to check if they have come. It captures a universal experience of expectation.
Mångata (Swedish): The road-like reflection of the moon on the water. This word poetically captures a specific, serene visual experience that most languages do not have a single word to describe.
These words are beautiful reminders of the diverse ways cultures articulate the human experience.
Emotions You Can Feel But Can't Explain After Trauma
Now that you understand how powerful learning new words can be in reshaping our reality, it’s time to look at post-traumatic experiences!
For survivors of toxic or abusive relationships, these emotions can be especially poignant.
I've observed these emotions in my work with my clients who are navigating the aftermath of abuse and trauma.
Sehnsucht: The Inexplicable Yearning
Sehnsucht is a German word that captures a deep, ineffable longing for something indefinable or the yearning for a far-off ideal.
Survivors of abuse often feel Sehnsucht when they yearn for a sense of safety, love, or belonging that feels just out of reach, typically because of the distorted reality they experienced in the abusive relationship.
Kenopsia: The Eerie Calm After a Storm
Kenopsia refers to the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that's usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
For someone emerging from an abusive relationship, the sudden silence after leaving can feel unsettling.
The transition from a high-tension environment to one of calm can leave survivors feeling disoriented and lost.
This can be tied to the brain's adaptation to constant stress, where the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis becomes overactive, making tranquility feel unnatural.
The adjustment period involves the brain relearning what peace feels like, which can be a deeply confusing and unsettling experience.
Monachopsis: The Subtle But Persistent Feeling of Being Out of Place
Monachopsis describes the nagging feeling of being out of place, like you don't quite fit into your surroundings.
Survivors of abusive relationships might experience this as they rebuild their lives and find that their sense of self has been altered.
The hippocampus, involved in memory formation, may link current situations with past trauma, triggering feelings of alienation or disconnection.
As survivors navigate new environments, the contrast between their past and present can amplify this sense of not belonging.
Healing and Understanding
For survivors, understanding the neurobiological underpinnings of their emotional experiences can be empowering.
I’ve also seen how putting words to these experiences oftentimes provides a huge sense of relief to these people.
And most importantly, recognizing that these feelings have roots in the brain's response to trauma and stress can provide a scientific foundation for the healing journey.
Techniques such as somatic experiencing (SE), and IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy can help rewire the brain's response to trauma, offering survivors tools to navigate their complex emotional landscapes!
In sharing these insights, my goal is to illuminate the often indescribable aspects of healing from trauma.
I want to offer both a scientific understanding and a compassionate acknowledgment of the emotional complexities faced by survivors.
Remember, you are not alone on your journey, always feel free to reach out if you need some extra support!
Otherwise, until next time… Live Heroically 🧠