There's some good points about wanting vs needing,. The idea of "I shouldn't have to explain it to him" however can exist alongside knowing and defining what one would want to happen in the situation. Neither one of those alone defines that something is a need.
I shouldn't have to explain it to him means there's a baseline expectation of how a human being ought to treat one another. We don't have to define this in crystal clear terms in other relationships, so why do we need to do this at home? Some things are actually assumed as basic rules of engaging with another person.
So yes I agree, you don't want to let someone's subpar actions be an indictment of you, AND someone's subpar actions is still something you should not have to deal with, since that's below the bar of what's expected regular conduct of people in relation to one another.
You'd be surprised how different these baseline expectations can be between two people, which is why just talking about it is the move! Men are not hairy women, and women are not hairless men. Our baseline expectations are so vastly different it's hard to comprehend; then you add in family, culture, and upbringing, and it just gets more and more complex.
There's some good points about wanting vs needing,. The idea of "I shouldn't have to explain it to him" however can exist alongside knowing and defining what one would want to happen in the situation. Neither one of those alone defines that something is a need.
I shouldn't have to explain it to him means there's a baseline expectation of how a human being ought to treat one another. We don't have to define this in crystal clear terms in other relationships, so why do we need to do this at home? Some things are actually assumed as basic rules of engaging with another person.
So yes I agree, you don't want to let someone's subpar actions be an indictment of you, AND someone's subpar actions is still something you should not have to deal with, since that's below the bar of what's expected regular conduct of people in relation to one another.
Great post, love the distinction between needing versus wanting to be a priority.
First few dates can tell you a lot about whether someone will make you a priority or not. Are they someone who takes initiative, follows through, shows curiosity about you, remembers things about you, are kind to not just you but also to servers, etc. You're much more likely to be a priority with someone who is mutually interested and invested, emotionally intelligent, and kind.
There's some good points about wanting vs needing,. The idea of "I shouldn't have to explain it to him" however can exist alongside knowing and defining what one would want to happen in the situation. Neither one of those alone defines that something is a need.
I shouldn't have to explain it to him means there's a baseline expectation of how a human being ought to treat one another. We don't have to define this in crystal clear terms in other relationships, so why do we need to do this at home? Some things are actually assumed as basic rules of engaging with another person.
So yes I agree, you don't want to let someone's subpar actions be an indictment of you, AND someone's subpar actions is still something you should not have to deal with, since that's below the bar of what's expected regular conduct of people in relation to one another.
You'd be surprised how different these baseline expectations can be between two people, which is why just talking about it is the move! Men are not hairy women, and women are not hairless men. Our baseline expectations are so vastly different it's hard to comprehend; then you add in family, culture, and upbringing, and it just gets more and more complex.
There's some good points about wanting vs needing,. The idea of "I shouldn't have to explain it to him" however can exist alongside knowing and defining what one would want to happen in the situation. Neither one of those alone defines that something is a need.
I shouldn't have to explain it to him means there's a baseline expectation of how a human being ought to treat one another. We don't have to define this in crystal clear terms in other relationships, so why do we need to do this at home? Some things are actually assumed as basic rules of engaging with another person.
So yes I agree, you don't want to let someone's subpar actions be an indictment of you, AND someone's subpar actions is still something you should not have to deal with, since that's below the bar of what's expected regular conduct of people in relation to one another.
Great post, love the distinction between needing versus wanting to be a priority.
First few dates can tell you a lot about whether someone will make you a priority or not. Are they someone who takes initiative, follows through, shows curiosity about you, remembers things about you, are kind to not just you but also to servers, etc. You're much more likely to be a priority with someone who is mutually interested and invested, emotionally intelligent, and kind.