Stop Overthinking with Neuroscience 🧠
Why Overthinking Feels Like Security, Even When It’s Exhausting (9min Read)
TL;DR Summary
Overthinking is a mental loop driven by our brain's wiring, often intended to protect us but with drawbacks.
Neuroscience reveals that overthinking stems from brain areas like the prefrontal cortex and default mode network (DMN).
Evolutionarily, overthinking developed as a survival mechanism, helping us anticipate danger but now often triggering needless stress.
In IFS, “Overthinking Parts” usually arise to shield us from painful emotions or situations.
Techniques like the "Worry Window," mindfulness, and cognitive reframing are powerful tools to reduce overthinking.
To Overthink, or Not to Overthink...
Ever catch yourself spiraling over a simple decision or a small comment someone made?
If so, you’re not alone. Overthinking affects nearly everyone at some point and often feels like an exhausting loop.
In fact, it’s one of the most common things I see when working with anxious achievers and trauma survivors!
But what exactly is overthinking, why do we do it, and more importantly—how can we stop?
Today, I’m breaking down the neuroscience of overthinking, exploring why it happens, and, as always, sharing some practical, research-backed strategies to help beat it.
Let’s dive in!
What Is Overthinking, and Why Does It Happen?
Overthinking is the process of excessively analyzing or worrying about a problem or situation.
At a neurological level, overthinking involves a network of brain areas, notably:
The Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): Responsible for decision-making and problem-solving, the PFC can become hyperactive, especially under stress, as it attempts to control outcomes or “solve” future problems.
The Default Mode Network (DMN): This network activates when we’re at rest, thinking about ourselves or others. When we overthink, the DMN can spiral into negative self-reflection or rumination.
I bet you didn’t know that not all overthinking is the same!
There are actually two flavors, rumination and worry.
Rumination is about replaying past events, often with a focus on mistakes or regrets.
Worrying on the other hand is more about projecting into the future with “what if” scenarios.
I’ve heard this called “catastrophizing” in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy literature as well, especially since most of the time, as I’m sure you’ve experienced, these “what if” worries, aren’t all sunshine and rainbows!
Why Does Overthinking Exist?
So, what gives? What benefit could overthinking possibly bring to us?! Great question.
Our ancestors had good reasons to overthink.
Long ago, anticipating threats helped us survive; humans who worried about potential dangers were better equipped to avoid them.
In modern life, however, overthinking often causes more harm than good.
Today, it frequently leads to chronic stress and anxiety rather than real solutions.
From a brain perspective, overthinking is an attempt to resolve uncertainty.
The brain doesn’t like gaps in knowledge, so it tries to “fill in” with possibilities, even if they’re distressing.
This is where the problem arises: the brain is wired to focus on threats, which means our thoughts often veer toward the negative.
Overthinking “Parts” An IFS Perspective
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the type of psychotherapy I’m trained in, “Overthinking Parts” often develop as protective mechanisms.
These Parts of our psyche aim to shield you from painful emotions or prevent you from making perceived mistakes.
These parts aren’t the problem—they’re well-intentioned and trying to help in the only way they know.
But because overthinking rarely leads to the resolution they hope for, we need strategies that help calm these parts and show them that it’s safe to let go.
Why Anxious Achievers with Relationship Trauma Develop Overthinking Parts
Alright, let’s get to the meat and potatoes here, why do anxious achievers with a past relationship trauma develop these overthinking protective Parts then?!
Let me bottom line it for you, it’s useful.
Yes, you read that correctly, overthinking can be useful.
It wouldn’t be a thing if it wasn’t helpful in some ways.
And for anxious achievers who are driven, high-performing, and often perfectionistic the tendency to overthink can be rewarding in some situations.
Overthinking in situations where meticulous planning leads to exceptional project outcomes, impressing colleagues and superiors.
Or, in high-stakes decision-making, hyper-analyzing every angle can uncover hidden risks or innovative solutions, giving them a competitive edge.
It can be even more helpful in traumatizing situations where overthinking might have kept this person safe, especially relationship trauma.
This type of trauma, whether from past romantic relationships, family dynamics, or friendships, often leaves behind emotional scars that fuel a cycle of overthinking.
The Drive for Control in a World of Unpredictable Relationships
When anxious achievers have a background of relationship trauma, overthinking often serves as a way to regain control in situations where they previously felt powerless or rejected.
Overthinking Parts tend to be highly vigilant, always scanning for potential signs of conflict, abandonment, or disapproval.
From an IFS perspective, these Parts are Protectors with deeply ingrained beliefs about safety and self-worth.
Some common overthinking tactics they employ are:
Hyper-awareness of Others' Reactions: For those who’ve experienced unpredictable or emotionally painful relationships, Overthinking Parts work tirelessly to “read” others’ emotions, behavior, or potential triggers. This hyper-vigilant scanning is a way to avoid any future harm or rejection.
Shielding from Criticism: For many anxious achievers, overthinking is a defense mechanism designed to avoid failure, rejection, or criticism. If they can “think through every angle,” they believe they can prevent negative outcomes and ensure success.
Perfectionism as a Safety Mechanism: These Overthinking Parts may believe that by achieving or behaving “perfectly,” they can prevent others from leaving, criticizing, or mistreating them. This is a common dynamic for anxious achievers, who often equate self-worth with flawless performance in hopes of maintaining relationships.
Replaying Conversations and Analyzing Details: After social interactions, overthinking can turn into an endless post-mortem analysis. This replaying of conversations or small details aims to identify any signs of disapproval or rejection that could be addressed or “fixed” in the future. For someone with past relationship trauma, this habit of “over-analyzing” stems from the desire to avoid repeating painful relational patterns.
For anxious achievers with relationship trauma, Overthinking Parts tend to view “perfection” and hyper-analysis as tools for safety, believing they can guard against the unpredictability or hurt that came with past relationships.
The Role of Overthinking Parts in Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability
If you thought that was it, you’d be wrong, because these same Overthinking Parts of us make it hard to heal sometimes.
That’s because they find emotional vulnerability difficult; their Overthinking Parts often work to protect you from the raw feelings you’ve associated with past experiences.
In IFS, these parts might shield Exiles—the inner, vulnerable parts of the self that carry memories of past pain.
When Overthinking Parts take over, and run your life, they’re often trying to prevent feelings like abandonment, shame, or betrayal from surfacing.
This means they:
Suppressing Painful Memories: Instead of engaging with the raw hurt from past relationships, Overthinking Parts may distract you by focusing on minor details, your work, exercising, new relationships, or hypothetical scenarios. This distraction tactic feels safer than directly addressing old wounds.
Preemptively Preparing for Hurt: These Overthinking Parts are often convinced that, by anticipating worst-case scenarios, they can “soften the blow” of any future rejection or pain. For someone with relationship trauma, preparing for hurt feels less risky than being caught off guard by it. Oof…
Cognitive Distancing from Emotions: By staying in a loop of logical analysis, these Parts create a sense of emotional distance, preventing the person from feeling too deeply. For example, they might dissect a partner’s behavior to understand it logically, rather than acknowledging the underlying hurt or sadness they feel.
Why Overthinking Persists Even When It’s Exhausting
You might be thinking to yourself, “Wow, that sounds tiring…”
And many of my clients would personally attest to this, it is, in fact, exhausting…
Yet, it persists, why?!
Well, think about it from the Overthinking Part of you’s perspective.
They attempt to provide a sense of security and control… Is there ever a time you’d like to not be feeling these things?
Sadly, despite their well-meaning intentions, this constant analysis and vigilance often leaves the person feeling more anxious, not less.
Overthinking can give the illusion of control, but in reality, it can trap people in cycles of stress and self-doubt.
This endless analysis often leaves people exhausted and prevents them from enjoying the connections they truly crave.
How Overthinking Differs from Other Types of Thinking
Some of you may be thinking, “Alright, Cody, I feel exposed, but what if I don’t remember what it’s like to not overthink or worry…?”
This is a legitimate question I get asked all the time.
Sometimes, you spend so much time doing something, you forget entirely what it’s like to not do it, it becomes your identity and way of being.
Well, I’m here to tell you that not all thoughts are overthought.
Healthy, productive thinking looks like this:
Thoughts have clear conclusions. When solving a problem, you reach an answer and move on.
There’s emotional balance. Productive thinking doesn’t leave you feeling drained or anxious.
It’s time-limited. You don’t spend hours on the same thought loop.
Overthinking is the opposite of these things, it often feels compulsive, emotionally draining, and endless.
It feels like running on a mental treadmill—you’re exhausted but haven’t gone anywhere.
Neuroscience-Based Techniques to Stop Overthinking
Now, what you’ve all been waiting for, here are 3 tools you can use to reduce overthinking, including one I shared recently on Instagram!
1. The Worry Window: Give Your Overthinking a “Home”
One technique I recommend is the Worry Window—a dedicated time each day to overthink freely.
Here’s how it works:
Set aside 10–15 minutes each day to allow yourself to worry, stress, or analyze freely.
When overthinking pops up outside this window, remind yourself to save it for later. Tell your brain it will get its turn to worry later.
Over time, your brain learns not to indulge in rumination throughout the day. Research shows that compartmentalizing worry can reduce how much we fixate on anxious thoughts.
For instance, I schedule my Worry Window at the end of the day, so any leftover thoughts don’t keep me awake at night.
This practice is powerful because it trains your brain to limit worry rather than eliminate it entirely, which is often unrealistic.
2. Reframe Your Thoughts with Cognitive Reappraisal
Cognitive reappraisal is the art of reshaping how you interpret your thoughts. This strategy leverages the prefrontal cortex’s natural ability to regulate emotion and can be transformative:
Identify the thought causing stress. For instance, “I’ll probably mess up this presentation.”
Reframe it more realistically: “I’ve practiced and am prepared; even if I make a mistake, I can handle it.”
By deliberately reframing thoughts, we shift the brain's narrative and teach it that it doesn’t need to focus on worst-case scenarios.
3. Practice Self-Compassion to Calm Your Inner Parts
Lastly, practicing self-compassion is essential.
In IFS terms, when you treat your Overthinking Parts with kindness rather than frustration, you help them feel safe and validated.
When they feel secure, these parts don’t need to work as hard to protect you.
This means you overthink less!
The more you fight or try to banish this Part of you though, the worse it will get.
Trust me, I’ve got one of these Overthinking Parts myself, and have helped many of my clients with theirs too!
Self-compassion looks like:
Gentle acknowledgment: Saying, “I know you’re worried about this, and I understand why.” to this Part of you.
Comfort yourself as you would a friend, reminding yourself it’s okay to feel this way!
Studies on self-compassion show that it reduces stress and rumination, helping calm the brain's worry centers!
Making Peace with Overthinking
Overthinking can be frustrating, but it’s helpful to remember it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you.
By understanding its roots and learning to approach your Overthinking Parts with compassion, you can gently shift your brain away from rumination.
The brain is incredibly adaptable, and with practice, you can train it to recognize, compartmentalize, and manage worry.
Remember: overthinking is not a personal flaw but a pattern your brain has learned—and one you have the power to change.
And as always, until next time… Live Heroically 🧠
Supporting Research
Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Smallwood, J., & Spreng, R. N. (2014). The default network and self-generated thought: Component processes, dynamic control, and clinical relevance. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1316(1), 29-52. https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.12360
Brosschot, J. F., Gerin, W., & Thayer, J. F. (2006). The perseverative cognition hypothesis: A review of worry, prolonged stress-related physiological activation, and health. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 60(2), 113-124. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2005.06.074
Hayes, S. C., & Feldman, G. (2004). Clarifying the construct of mindfulness in relation to emotion regulation and the mechanisms of change in therapy. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 11(3), 255-262. https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy/bph080
Kross, E., & Ayduk, Ö. (2008). Facilitating adaptive emotional analysis: Distinguishing distanced-analysis of depressive experiences from immersed-analysis and distraction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(7), 924-938. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167208315938
McLaughlin, K. A., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2011). Rumination as a transdiagnostic factor in depression and anxiety. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 49(3), 186-193. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.12.006
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032
Raichle, M. E., MacLeod, A. M., Snyder, A. Z., Powers, W. J., Gusnard, D. A., & Shulman, G. L. (2001). A default mode of brain function. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 98(2), 676-682. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.98.2.676
Treadway, M. T., & Zald, D. H. (2013). Parsing anhedonia: Translational models of reward-processing deficits in psychopathology. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(3), 244-249. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24748727/