6 Comments
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Laura T RN BSN's avatar

It’s far too complicated

Marsa Nen's avatar

So those displaying the avoidant reaction feel things too? 😅🤯 For the first time I am experiencing genuine empathy towards those patterns in other people, as until now It's appeared to me like a numb indifference and others writing about it has mostly offered empathy towards "my side of the story".

Thank you for most refreshing content on the topic I've come across!

Magali Legault's avatar

I have empathy for them. AND… If they want to be in a long term relationship with commitment, they need to work on this. Unless, just to do not bring someone into this. I believe that being in a relationship = responsibilities.

Brianna Leigh's avatar

What about when it happens as an adult? And you have to navigate it within a long-term relationship?

Jill's avatar

Your material is so right on. It resonates deeply within me as truth. Thank you for seeing me.

Aliah Wing's avatar

The complications are rarely this cut and dry, though I whole-heartedly appreciate how this essay can jump-start the realizations that one needs to begin to break away from their anxious/avoidant behaviours. I tend to be both. I am anxious in the beginning and avoidant when things get to be "too much". My nervous system flip-flops depending on it's perceived role in the relationship. Love me, but not too much. I love you so much, why can't you deal with me? It's emotional whiplash that, thankfully, I have learned to navigate in a more positive manner as the years have passed. It will never be perfect and that's just MY side of things. When another person(s) become involved things inevitably become more complicated. Communication with yourself and communicating your people are paramount in sustaining a (hopefully) growing relationship. Thank you for posting this. What a wonderful launchpad to dig deeper into ourselves and each other with a clearer glass to look through.💖💖💖