The framing of this as neurobiology rather than moral failing is genuinely helpful. What's useful about the One Man practice is how small it starts, just identifying one counterexample to the global threat category instead of trying to rewire everything at once. The part about how a nervous system trained by trauma filters for what feels familar rather than what's healthy explains a lot about why secure people can feel boring or off. It's not about the person being boring, it's about safety feeling unfamilar to a system that learned danger as baseline.
Perhaps 'healthy men' ought to be holding the predatory, dysfunctional, abusive 'threat' men ACCOUNTABLE.
Or do we women HAVE TO DO THAT TOO?
It's not the abuseds' job to 'do all the work of recovery' as well as turn ourselves inside out, to then go on to do *more work* to accommodate and make room for the 'healthy men'.
Be their backbone, healers and nurturers too.
Here's a novel idea!
How about the 'healthy men' be about the business of exercising their 'healthiness' by firstly calling things what they are; calling out the pathology of abusive men, and then exercising 'healthy authority' over them, with due consequences for the shocking behavior that gives them all a bad name?
Thank God, I have my Dad. 🧡🥰
The framing of this as neurobiology rather than moral failing is genuinely helpful. What's useful about the One Man practice is how small it starts, just identifying one counterexample to the global threat category instead of trying to rewire everything at once. The part about how a nervous system trained by trauma filters for what feels familar rather than what's healthy explains a lot about why secure people can feel boring or off. It's not about the person being boring, it's about safety feeling unfamilar to a system that learned danger as baseline.
Perhaps 'healthy men' ought to be holding the predatory, dysfunctional, abusive 'threat' men ACCOUNTABLE.
Or do we women HAVE TO DO THAT TOO?
It's not the abuseds' job to 'do all the work of recovery' as well as turn ourselves inside out, to then go on to do *more work* to accommodate and make room for the 'healthy men'.
Be their backbone, healers and nurturers too.
Here's a novel idea!
How about the 'healthy men' be about the business of exercising their 'healthiness' by firstly calling things what they are; calling out the pathology of abusive men, and then exercising 'healthy authority' over them, with due consequences for the shocking behavior that gives them all a bad name?
Wouldn't that be a thing!
We have enough to do.