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Maria Chapman's avatar

Hey Cody,

I'm coming at this from two different angles. 1. As someone who works in the mental health publishing world and 2. As one of the women you're writing this post for. You do an exceptional job taking what could easily dissolve into jargon and making it usable. Thanks for this. Your steps at the end were particularly helpful. Instead of rationalizing something that wasn't working for me I just asked for what I wanted.

Cody Isabel | Neuroscience's avatar

Boom, love to hear this kind of thing!

Gisele's avatar

This is amazing! Wish I'd read it when I was still not deciding, when I was excusing him, when I was trying to be loyal, when I was just extending the misery for us both.

Cody Isabel | Neuroscience's avatar

I get it, it's easy to go down the critical path, when I work with people, I watch out for this and help redirect them towards compassion and curiosity towards their Parts! Hope you can do the same!

Mina Yang's avatar

You raise such a good point. Smart women are masters at explaining and justifying their partners and their own responses (or lack thereof) to them. I've also found it helpful to get into their subconscious (through hypnotherapy or EMDR) and rewrite their stories from childhood so that they disrupt the patterns they keep repeating and are finally freed to move toward healthier love.

Cody Isabel | Neuroscience's avatar

Agreed, I use IFS with my clients, but I'm a big fan of EMDR too! I've written a deep dive on it before too.

Melissa Sandfort's avatar

I live, eat sleep and breathe IFS! Glad to find another IFS person, Cody!

Mina Yang's avatar

IFS is full of amazing insights. You might also want to check out Rapid Transformational Therapy, which is a mode of hypnotherapy I’m certified in. Lots of overlap with IFS. I love that there are so many options now, since different people respond to different methods.