I am working with a therapist weekly to get me to the point of starting EMDR. I am still in “ resourcing “ phase. One of the hardest things for me has been emotional regulation. I no longer ever feel like the person I used to be. Minute by minute has been my daily goal. You were spot on with your writing. Well done! I am honored that you replied. Thank you!
I really enjoyed this piece—thank you for such a clear, compassionate breakdown. The metaphor of growing around trauma “like a tree around a nail” really hit me. It’s powerful (and a little heartbreaking) to realise how deeply relational and developmental trauma can shape not just our responses but our entire sense of self. So many of us have felt the emotional residue of something we couldn’t quite name—this gives it language and context.
I also loved the emphasis on bottom up healing. It’s easy to default to mindset work or try to “understand” our way through pain, but this was a great reminder that real safety is something the nervous system has to feel. That “you can’t think your way out” line really stuck.
Cody, this is a great article. As a practising CBT therapist, with trauma training, I’d just like to emphasise that both these diagnoses do require an element of ‘Re-experiencing’ I.e. that the traumas are experienced again as though they’re happening again, in the here and now. This can take the form of dreams/nightmares or flashbacks. To the best of my understanding, without some of these occurring, the criteria for diagnosis of PTSD wouldn’t be reached. (See International Trauma Questionnaire ITQ
I highlight this because clients often do have avoidance and sense of threat about either a single traumatic event or chronic (usually childhood-based) abuse or neglect, but without the reexperiencing element, it isn’t PTSD. Similarly, having dysregulated emotions, a pervasive negative sense of self and disturbances in relationships without the trauma reexperiencing (and the avoidance and threat sense) wouldn’t give a CPTSD diagnosis either.
Why does this matter? Because the evidence based treatment protocols are different for different conditions.
Also, like you, I believe it’s important for people to distinguish as accurately as they can between for example, CPTSD and chronic or recurrent episodes of depression. Or CPTSD and ADHD.
I hope my penny’s worth makes sense and contributes something useful to your excellent article - I’d be pleased to hear your thoughts, Cody.
I do not wish to discredit what the author is saying, but I have to make an important clarification about this.
There is a great tendency in our culture to complexify everything and to intellectualize and allow the left hemisphere to take over control of situations, and most of what we think of as 'science' is mistakenly coming from this approach.
What is currently being described as PTSD in any form is simply life happening and us reacting to it, then getting stuck in it bc we haven't allowed it to pass. I have personally explored many techniques for relief of "life happening," both for myself and for clients/students, and mostly they do not work or only give palliative relief for a while. The one and only thing that actually "cures" us is to deeply relax, stop fooling around with special techniques entirely, bc that is mind trying to heal mind, which is impossible, and allow one's spirit to come back in by simply being Present. Facing and releasing emotional trauma, whether it's war or birth or an accident or anything else, happens when one is still and allowing, not when one is "doing" things to make something happen.
Any time a person heals themselves from a trauma - something stuck in their system - it happens bc they have decided on a soul level to let go of it and they do. I am not even talking about 'meditation' here, I am talking about simply relaxing into one's body and breathing and letting go. When it happens that one does this while one might be using a fancy technique, one might want to attribute it to the technique, bc that is how the ego mind works. But healing has nothing whatsoever to do with techniques - that is the left hemisphere wanting to take credit for what the right hemisphere is actually doing. Healing happens when we get ourselves to relax and let go. It is that simple. As long as we are willing to spend a lot of time and energy discussing special techniques, we are not willing to face the simple truth of what works, and that would be bc we are not ready and willing yet to heal. We are playing around in the mind discussing going swimming, bc we are afraid to jump into the lake.
If 'neuroscience' or any other science wants to actually help people get well it needs to understand this basiic action of life and get over itself.
Thanks for this article. I've only recently become aware of CPTSD and it's resonating really strongly for me as a child of a narcissistic mother whose temper was ferocious and whose behaviour in my childhood was hugely unpredictable...
I’ve started my own Substack called Desperately Seeking Wisdom about helping people navigate a complex world - particularly when they have experienced trauma. I’m keen to be part of and build a like-minded community.
Important breakthroughs include recognising that anger is a protective source of energy. To identify it, and use it skillfully to produce healing results.
Also learning to recognise when I'm being badly treated (because it feels like normal)- finding 'I don't deserve to be treated like this' - using the energy of anger to say No (neither accepting it, nor rejecting the other person, but saying No to people taking advantage of my lack of self worth, which anyone will do however basically nice they are).
I really don't go along with the concept that humans are either narcissists or empaths.
Omggggg. We are aligned. I write a Substack that lives at the intersection of trauma, embodiment, and sacred reclamation. It’s raw, it’s real, and it doesn’t flinch. I speak from lived experience as a survivor and a guide—writing about the nervous system, power, sacred sexuality, grief, rage, healing, and coming home to the body.
This isn’t polished self-help. It’s truth-telling. It’s sacred work in motion. It’s for people who are unlearning, remembering, and rising.
If you’re drawn to writing that feels like a breath of truth—or a gut punch of recognition—you might resonate with what I share.
I'm a psychotherapist in the UK, and this breakdown is so helpful. I imagine C-PTSD like a vine tangling itself into you as you grow. EMDR & Deep Brain Reorienting are great bottom up approaches to help with de-tangling and connecting safely with your sense of self.
Very well written. Have been reading a lot of content on trauma and its effects. Ths type of content really provides a clear understanding of the subject.
As someone who is passionate about innovative therapies DBR seems promising.
Was like reading about myself, everyday. It is the absolute hardest thing to overcome, I feel utterly defeated!
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling! Have you found anything that’s helpful? Therapy, coaching, workshops, hobbies?!
I am working with a therapist weekly to get me to the point of starting EMDR. I am still in “ resourcing “ phase. One of the hardest things for me has been emotional regulation. I no longer ever feel like the person I used to be. Minute by minute has been my daily goal. You were spot on with your writing. Well done! I am honored that you replied. Thank you!
This is such an excellent summary! Thank you so much! Would you be willing to come on my podcast to break this down someday? I’d be so grateful!
Sure, my assistant can help us get booked! Her email is janice@mindbrainbodylab.com! Can't wait!
Thank you so much! I am so grateful and excited! I sent the email! 📧 👏🏻
Thank you for sharing this! Quite a bit of info I hadn't learned before as someone with CPTSD. Restacked.
Excellent summary of two complex conditions! And I’ve enjoyed the deer/forest metaphor too, simple, clear and effective :)
I really enjoyed this piece—thank you for such a clear, compassionate breakdown. The metaphor of growing around trauma “like a tree around a nail” really hit me. It’s powerful (and a little heartbreaking) to realise how deeply relational and developmental trauma can shape not just our responses but our entire sense of self. So many of us have felt the emotional residue of something we couldn’t quite name—this gives it language and context.
I also loved the emphasis on bottom up healing. It’s easy to default to mindset work or try to “understand” our way through pain, but this was a great reminder that real safety is something the nervous system has to feel. That “you can’t think your way out” line really stuck.
Cody, this is a great article. As a practising CBT therapist, with trauma training, I’d just like to emphasise that both these diagnoses do require an element of ‘Re-experiencing’ I.e. that the traumas are experienced again as though they’re happening again, in the here and now. This can take the form of dreams/nightmares or flashbacks. To the best of my understanding, without some of these occurring, the criteria for diagnosis of PTSD wouldn’t be reached. (See International Trauma Questionnaire ITQ
https://novopsych.com/assessments/diagnosis/international-trauma-questionnaire-itq/
I highlight this because clients often do have avoidance and sense of threat about either a single traumatic event or chronic (usually childhood-based) abuse or neglect, but without the reexperiencing element, it isn’t PTSD. Similarly, having dysregulated emotions, a pervasive negative sense of self and disturbances in relationships without the trauma reexperiencing (and the avoidance and threat sense) wouldn’t give a CPTSD diagnosis either.
Why does this matter? Because the evidence based treatment protocols are different for different conditions.
Also, like you, I believe it’s important for people to distinguish as accurately as they can between for example, CPTSD and chronic or recurrent episodes of depression. Or CPTSD and ADHD.
I hope my penny’s worth makes sense and contributes something useful to your excellent article - I’d be pleased to hear your thoughts, Cody.
I do not wish to discredit what the author is saying, but I have to make an important clarification about this.
There is a great tendency in our culture to complexify everything and to intellectualize and allow the left hemisphere to take over control of situations, and most of what we think of as 'science' is mistakenly coming from this approach.
What is currently being described as PTSD in any form is simply life happening and us reacting to it, then getting stuck in it bc we haven't allowed it to pass. I have personally explored many techniques for relief of "life happening," both for myself and for clients/students, and mostly they do not work or only give palliative relief for a while. The one and only thing that actually "cures" us is to deeply relax, stop fooling around with special techniques entirely, bc that is mind trying to heal mind, which is impossible, and allow one's spirit to come back in by simply being Present. Facing and releasing emotional trauma, whether it's war or birth or an accident or anything else, happens when one is still and allowing, not when one is "doing" things to make something happen.
Any time a person heals themselves from a trauma - something stuck in their system - it happens bc they have decided on a soul level to let go of it and they do. I am not even talking about 'meditation' here, I am talking about simply relaxing into one's body and breathing and letting go. When it happens that one does this while one might be using a fancy technique, one might want to attribute it to the technique, bc that is how the ego mind works. But healing has nothing whatsoever to do with techniques - that is the left hemisphere wanting to take credit for what the right hemisphere is actually doing. Healing happens when we get ourselves to relax and let go. It is that simple. As long as we are willing to spend a lot of time and energy discussing special techniques, we are not willing to face the simple truth of what works, and that would be bc we are not ready and willing yet to heal. We are playing around in the mind discussing going swimming, bc we are afraid to jump into the lake.
If 'neuroscience' or any other science wants to actually help people get well it needs to understand this basiic action of life and get over itself.
I've met several veterans with CPTSD. It's nice to know there are people like you well versed and experienced in this realm AND willing to help!
Thanks for this article. I've only recently become aware of CPTSD and it's resonating really strongly for me as a child of a narcissistic mother whose temper was ferocious and whose behaviour in my childhood was hugely unpredictable...
Thanks for this. It rang so many bells.
I’ve started my own Substack called Desperately Seeking Wisdom about helping people navigate a complex world - particularly when they have experienced trauma. I’m keen to be part of and build a like-minded community.
I hope you’ll check it out craigoliver.substack.com
Really good post about the difference between the two
C-ptsd here. For me, I could say so much!
Important breakthroughs include recognising that anger is a protective source of energy. To identify it, and use it skillfully to produce healing results.
Also learning to recognise when I'm being badly treated (because it feels like normal)- finding 'I don't deserve to be treated like this' - using the energy of anger to say No (neither accepting it, nor rejecting the other person, but saying No to people taking advantage of my lack of self worth, which anyone will do however basically nice they are).
I really don't go along with the concept that humans are either narcissists or empaths.
Fascinating! Thank you.
I got you!
Omggggg. We are aligned. I write a Substack that lives at the intersection of trauma, embodiment, and sacred reclamation. It’s raw, it’s real, and it doesn’t flinch. I speak from lived experience as a survivor and a guide—writing about the nervous system, power, sacred sexuality, grief, rage, healing, and coming home to the body.
This isn’t polished self-help. It’s truth-telling. It’s sacred work in motion. It’s for people who are unlearning, remembering, and rising.
If you’re drawn to writing that feels like a breath of truth—or a gut punch of recognition—you might resonate with what I share.
I'm a psychotherapist in the UK, and this breakdown is so helpful. I imagine C-PTSD like a vine tangling itself into you as you grow. EMDR & Deep Brain Reorienting are great bottom up approaches to help with de-tangling and connecting safely with your sense of self.
Very well written. Have been reading a lot of content on trauma and its effects. Ths type of content really provides a clear understanding of the subject.
As someone who is passionate about innovative therapies DBR seems promising.