The Neuroscience of Positivity: Reprogramming Your Mind 🧠

Harnessing the Power of the Thinker and Prover for Trauma Recovery (6min Read/Listen)

TL;DR Summary:

• Framework: The Thinker and Prover aid in trauma recovery.

• Concept: The Thinker is your internal voice, and the Prover supports its thoughts.

• Impact: Negative thoughts create damaging cycles and affect brain function.

• Solution: Identify and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

• Action: Use positive questions to shift your mindset.

• Outcome: Rewire your brain and transform your life by focusing on empowering thoughts daily.

The Thinker and Prover

Today, I want to dive into a powerful framework that can be a game-changer in your trauma recovery journey: the Thinker and the Prover.

Some of my clients say this is one of the most impactful lessons I’ve ever given to them, so you’re in for a treat!

This concept is originally from Darren Hardy, but I retrofitted it for the trauma recovery process, and added in lots of neuroscience to make it my own!

It’s a simple way to understand how our thoughts shape our reality and is a crucial lesson for anyone to learn, especially those healing from trauma!

Let’s dive in!

Understanding the Thinker and the Prover

So, who even is the “Thinker” and the “Prover”?! Great question!

The Thinker is that internal voice constantly running in the background of our minds.

It can be conscious, but more often, it operates subconsciously, forming the narratives we live by.

For survivors of abusive relationships, the Thinker might whisper damaging thoughts like, "I'm not worthy," "I'm not strong enough," or "I'm not lovable."

The Prover, on the other hand, is a bit like the Thinker's assistant.

Its job is to gather evidence to support whatever the Thinker says.

If your Thinker is stuck on negative, self-deprecating thoughts, the Prover will dig into your memory bank to find moments that reinforce these beliefs.

This can create a vicious cycle, reinforcing negative thoughts and keeping you trapped in the past.

Here’s an example I see a lot:

Thinker: "I'm not capable of having a healthy relationship."

Prover: "You're right, remember that time you trusted someone and they hurt you? Or when you tried to open up to a new person and they rejected you?"

How the Thinker and Prover Influence Trauma Recovery

For trauma survivors, especially those with Complex PTSD, the Thinker often carries the echo of the abuser's voice, repeating harmful and untrue statements about our worth and capabilities.

The Prover then reinforces these damaging thoughts by recalling past failures or painful experiences, making it seem like these thoughts are the undeniable truth.

Emma

Emma was a client of mine, whose name I’ve changed for privacy, and she had just gotten out of an emotionally abusive relationship.

Her abuser would say things like, “No one else could ever love you.” “You’re too emotional.” “You never do anything right.”

I know it’s hard to believe humans say these kinds of things to each other, but these are the kinds of things I hear from people when working with them!

These statements have a profound effect on survivors Thinker’s over time.

Here are some examples:

• Abuser: "You're worthless. No one else would ever love you."

  • Thinker: "I am worthless and unlovable."

• Abuser: "You're too emotional. No one wants to deal with your drama."

  • Thinker: "I am too emotional and a burden to others."

• Abuser: "You're lucky I put up with you. Anyone else would have left you by now."

  • Thinker: "I am lucky to have anyone and should be grateful even for mistreatment."

• Abuser: "You're so weak. You couldn't survive without me."

  • Thinker: "I am weak and dependent."

It’s no surprise Emma struggled with feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

Her Thinker constantly reminded her of the times she was told she was "not good enough" by her abuser.

Consequently, her Prover found countless memories to back this up, like when she was criticized at work or belittled in social situations.

This isn’t just in our heads either, it affects the structure and function of our brains!

Rewiring the Brain

The Thinker and Prover framework isn't just a metaphor; it has a basis in neuroscience.

The brain regions affected include:

• Prefrontal Cortex: Responsible for complex cognitive behavior and decision-making. It helps in forming thoughts and planning. This is oftentimes where your Thinker lives.

• Hippocampus: Involved in memory formation. This is where the Prover might retrieve memories to support the Thinker's thoughts.

• Amygdala: Plays a key role in processing emotions and can trigger fear responses, often heightened in trauma survivors.

  

  When negative thoughts dominate, the neural pathways supporting these thoughts become stronger.

This means the more negative your Thinker & Prover, the more negative neural pathways you’re going to lay down in your brain!

However, the brain's plasticity means that with conscious effort, we can rewire these pathways, and turn this ship around by hacking your Thinker!

Hacking the Cycle: Transforming Your Thinker

The secret to breaking free from this negative cycle is realizing that you have control over your Thinker.

By changing the narrative, you can direct your Prover to find positive evidence.

Practical Steps to Reframe Your Thinker

1. Identify Negative Thoughts: Spend a few minutes each day identifying the negative thoughts your Thinker repeats. Write them down.

2. Challenge and Replace: For each negative thought, challenge its validity and replace it with a positive or empowering thought. For example, replace "I'm not worthy" with "I deserve love and respect."

3. Powerful Questions: Use your Thinker to ask questions that prompt positive responses. Instead of "Why am I not good enough?" ask "What makes me worthy of love and respect?"

   

Emma's Transformation

This is exactly what I did to help Emma replace her negative thoughts with empowering ones!

When her Thinker said, "I'm not good enough," she countered it with, "I have overcome so much and am incredibly strong."

Her Prover then started to find evidence of her resilience, like the times she supported friends in need or achieved personal goals despite her circumstances!

The dialogue in her mind shifted to look more like the examples below:

Thinker: "I am valuable and deserving of love."

Prover: "Remember the time your best friends showed appreciation for your support and kindness after their dog died?"

Thinker: "I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness."

Prover: "Remember when you stood up for yourself with your boss and were respected for it?"

Moving Forward: Your Action Plan

Take a moment today to write down three positive thoughts you want your Thinker to embrace.

Reverse engineer what your Prover needs to find to support these thoughts.

Commit to reminding yourself of these thoughts daily for 63 days, and watch as your mindset—and your life—begin to transform.

Why 63 days?! 63-84 days is the amount of time it takes to create a new neural network in your brain based on neuroscience research!

That’s 3-4 sets of 21 days!

Final Thoughts

Remember, healing from trauma is a journey, and reframing your thoughts is a powerful step in the right direction.

By harnessing the power of the Thinker and Prover, you can start to rewrite your story, one positive thought at a time.

You are strong, you are worthy, and you are capable of profound healing, I promise!

Until next time… Live Heroically 🧠

Supporting Research

• Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.

• Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Social influences on neuroplasticity: Stress and interventions to promote well-being. Nature Neuroscience, 15(5), 689-695. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3093

• Herman, J. L. (1997). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

• Kross, E., & Ayduk, O. (2011). Making meaning out of negative experiences by self-distancing. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(3), 187-191. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721411408883

• LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Emotion circuits in the brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 23, 155-184. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.neuro.23.1.155

• Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.

• Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Schore, A. N. (2012). The science of the art of psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

• van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

• Williams, J. M. G., & Penman, D. (2011). Mindfulness: An eight-week plan for finding peace in a frantic world. Rodale Books.